Something Bad - Part 1

Posted by BB | | Posted On 12 July, 2010 at Monday, July 12, 2010

I, Beloved Boyd, am a Gay Mormon Boy and everything I say here is the truth to the best of my knowledge:

I’m Back. This weeks series is going to start a bit earlier in my timeline but will end up with us back to the week after Joseph and I broke up. Today’s post takes place after I left BYU but before I left for Seattle. It was July nearly 2 years ago and I had just finished assisting in setting Mohinder (one of my best friends) apart as a missionary.

Mohinder would be entering the MTC the next day and I knew that I needed to let him inside my deeper circle of trust. You see that circle had been recently breached by my student ward Bishop. Up until this point I told anyone who asked why I left BYU that it was for medical reasons, my doctors and the specialists were up near the University of Utah and so a transfer was best for my grades.

About a week before Mohinder was set apart he and my bishop were in a 4 hr car ride for a mutual friend’s temple sealing. During this 4 hours my name came up and while I wasn’t there I have asked both Mohinder and my Bishop and the conversation from my Bishop seemed to go something like this.
“Well you know that some people like Boyd just aren’t cut out for the honor code.”
Regardless of what was said the impression left in Mohnder’s mind was that I left BYU not for my health, but for something much more serious.

So I knew that as Mohinder was about to enter the MTC he knew something was up with me and he deserved an explanation. So I decided to open up and tell him more of the truth, namely why I wasn’t entering the MTC with him. Here is a portion of that letter.
As you gave your talk about influences, I could not help but think of myself as one of those, however I think it only fair that you understand a little more about me than you realize. I did not leave BYU voluntarily rather; I lost my ecclesiastical endorsement because there were quite a few things going wrong in my life that I wanted to change and so I confessed to Bishop Bungard. The fallout from this was that I had to leave BYU after summer 2007 with a chance at coming back at a later date should I so choose. The other fallout from this is that I found out that because of my failings, in order to serve a mission, I will have to request permission from the First Presidency who will make the right decision for me.
Mohinder’s farewell address was about the influences in his life of which he claimed me as one. I told him that his goodness had influenced me and that he had the gift of openhearted love and could use that to strengthen the gospel. With the thought of influence on my mind I also left him with this C.S. Lewis quote:
It is a serious thing, to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses…All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no 'ordinary' people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations -- these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit -- immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.

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