What is this Feeling - Part 2

Posted by BB | Labels: , , | Posted On 02 March, 2010 at Tuesday, March 02, 2010

I, Beloved Boyd, am a Gay Mormon Boy and everything I say here is the truth to the best of my knowledge:

Saturday was the only day that worked out with both of our busy schedules, but as the week started and Joseph and I kept talking we realized that we couldn’t make it until Saturday. We talked and talked for hours on end. I told him my whole story, my indiscretions at BYU, my whole backstory I have told you these past few months. I relayed this to him over a period of about 2-3 days.

While sitting in the Institute building at the U of U, I decided to say “To Hell with it” and asked him what he was doing on Thursday instead. We set plans and a couple of days early we had our first date, Ice Cream near his work. I began the date timid and shy as the first rays of the sun, but soon overcame that feeling.

In order to arrange this date I had to move some things around and miss some LDS Frat activity, but the worst part was that I had to lie to my mother about it. I told her I was heading out and when she asked me where I lied straight to her face. Why? Was I ashamed of being gay? I think I still was at this point.

I left home and rushed through traffic texting Joseph the whole way there. I ended up beating him to the Ice Cream parlor by about 10 minutes. I sat there for those 10 minutes not fully knowing what to expect. I had seen pictures of Joseph and heard his voice, but this was the first time I had ever met anyone in person that I had first met online. I didn’t know what to expect.

When he walked in the first thing I noticed was that he was very different from Hayden. Hayden was into sports like basketball and while skinny was built. Joseph was skinny. He was a bit taller than me whereas Hayden was about my height. He also had a lot better sense in style than Hayden did.

We walked up to the counter together and, using gift cards (of course I paid for the both of us. We sat down and talked…. And kept talking. We were both scared out of our minds because we were new to gay dating. There were some silent moments, but we spent those times playing tag with our eyes.

I would stare ever so intently into my cookies and cream and then slowly look up into Joseph’s face as he would shyly avert his eyes. He was afraid that I didn’t like him in the same way he liked me and so he looked away. He enjoyed my brown eyes and deeply stared into them. It was a little different, but I liked it.

As we finished our Ice Cream Joseph suggested something I wasn’t fully prepared for. He wanted us to leave the store in his car and go meet his parents. Not his living blood parents, but the family that had, under a time of stress in his life, taken him under their wing.

I looked at my watch and saw how late it was. I had to decline. Then I pulled out my phone, looked at my calendar and realized that I could get away with time the next day after his work. So we made plans to meet for our 2nd date a day before our scheduled first date. I was nervous and afraid but knew that there was someone who I liked involved. I could do this, maybe.


There are 3 Words of Warning for What is this Feeling - Part 2