What is this Feeling? – Part 1

Posted by BB | Labels: , , | Posted On 01 March, 2010 at Monday, March 01, 2010

I, Beloved Boyd, am a Gay Mormon Boy and everything I say here is the truth to the best of my knowledge:

After I met with Elder Christensen I felt ready to get over Hayden, I felt ready enough that if something came along I would go with it. And as it turned out something did come along that completely changed my life.

While I was in Seattle, before my suicide attempt, I joined Northstar. It was on Northstar that I met a friend who talked to me while I the pills were starting to take effect. He happened to be on the receiving end of a few of these calls and so, as usual, he sent out a text message to fellow gay mormon boys asking them to pray for me.

Enter Joseph. He received this message and in turn asked for my information. Somehow we got connected on Facebook and started chatting. Joseph was working in Salt Lake while I was going to school at the University of Utah. He hadn’t had a boyfriend and described himself as an SSA guy. Although he told me via chat that,
“I am beginning to see that homosexuality when done in a loving context with one person may not be wrong so many people think that it’s horrible and wrong. I just don’t see that anymore”
Joseph and I started talk about Mid-January and as we talked we got closer and closer to each other. I would sit and chat with Joseph nearly all day long. I would have my chat up during my classes and in looking at my chat log we had nearly 2500 lines of chat before we even met each other.

We talked about our collective pasts and our ideas for the future. We talked about work and school, love and friendship and we all around flirted in nearly every line of chat. Sarcasm abounded and after about 2 weeks we decided to take things to the next level.

We decided to go out on our first date for the next Saturday. We never made it to Saturday but that is the story for tomorrow.

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