A New Year for a renewed life - Part 8

Posted by BB | Labels: , , | Posted On 23 February, 2010 at Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I, Beloved Boyd, am a Gay Mormon Boy and everything I say here is the truth to the best of my knowledge:

Before I left for Seattle and after I had come back I had been meeting with my Bishop nearly every week. I had my customary seat on the couch and my usual time slot immediately after church. This week started out pretty much the same as all the others prior.

“How are you doing this week Boyd?”
“Not so good Bishop, pretty craptastic actually”
”Why Boyd?”
“Well, with Walter and Hayden I have been distraught and I keep examining everything over and over again. I know I am gay and I thought I had everything figured out, but lately I have been wondering why. Why Why WHY! Why in the name of God are some of his children Gay? What are we to do?”
”Well have you been reading your scriptures and saying your…”
“YES I have, immensely, I have inhaled every account and record about homosexuality I could find. From Leviticus to Paul, Sodom to Navoou, from Christ to Kimball.”
“Nowhere do I find anything newer than Leviticus. It all comes back to Moses and there has been no revelation since pertaining to what a gay mormon boy is to do.”
“It is all suspect and policy and only dealt with the concept as understood then. Do you think Moses thought of the possibility of a loving monogamous gay marriage? How then is there nothing new?”
”I don’t know Boyd. I haven’t studied this nigh as much as you and I would think there has been revelation since then”
“I assure you there is not Bishop. I have searched and pleaded with the Lord. I have gone to the temple over a dozen times this past couple of weeks and all I have are more questions. I feel lost and when I come to you what do you have for me? More unknowns.”
”Boyd, I am sorry I cannot answer your questions, I truly am. All I can offer you is to look into the matter and get back to you next week.”
“That isn’t good enough Bishop. I can’t wait until Tuesday, let alone Sunday. I am going mad with this void of meaning. Each day I hear the question pounding in my mind, Why Why Why WHY!”
“Can I ask your permission to talk with the Elder Christensen [The General Authority who was also a member of our ward] about all this? I truly need answers or else I will go insane.”
”Boyd, If you can get him to listen you are free to talk with him”

So with that I left the Bishop’s office. Not with the customary closing prayer and conciliatory hug, but instead with frustration and distraught. I walked out to my car and found his phone number. I gave Elder Christensen a call and told him that I was having serious difficulty with my membership and I had several poignant questions I needed to ask of him. We agreed to meet on Monday January 5th, 2009. 8 torturous days later.


There are 6 Words of Warning for A New Year for a renewed life - Part 8