A New Year for a renewed life - Part 3

Posted by BB | Labels: , | Posted On 17 February, 2010 at Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I, Beloved Boyd, am a Gay Mormon Boy and everything I say here is the truth to the best of my knowledge:

I woke up early and went to the South Jordan Temple. It was my first time back in a temple since my first day in Seattle with Ethel. It was also my first time at the South Jordan Temple. I was a pro at the ordinance though because at one point growing up I wanted to visit every temple; I even kept track of how many people I had been baptized for. By the time I was 14 it was over 250, and then I lost track.

I love the temple and its calm, however the South Jordan temple is pretty legitimately crazy. It was the biggest game of hurry up and wait I think I have ever played outside an airport. But I was fine with the waiting and took several moments to get completely lost in prayer. I used the hard pew to focus and calm my mind and prayed with whole intent to Heavenly Father.

“Heavenly Father” I asked. “I don’t know what to think of these various interpretations and definitions regarding homosexuality. It is something very real to me with little real information and knowledge. I have come up against many ways of seeing this and don’t know which is right, please, please Heavenly Father, help me to believe and know the truth.”

I prayed this and variations with each stop and go. I got to the font and helped 10 people move towards the next step. I got out, feeling the spirit telling me that this is where I was meant to be; the temple was a sacred holy place that I needed to continue to be a part of. I got dressed, and left out to my car.

Then I drove down to the Salt Lake Temple and, hair still dripping from my earlier round, entered Temple Square. It was much quieter here and more organized. Also it helped that there were only 3 or 4 of us being baptized. I proceeded through the same process again. I prayed in solemn earnest waiting keenly perched on the couch in the font room. I needed to know the truth and I knew that I could find it if I only had enough faith.

I helped another 10 souls and then proceeded to get dressed. I am not proud of this next part but it happened. As I was putting on my tie in the mirror, Adonis walks down the stairs in his towel. A model of sculpted physique (and not in that gross body builder way) walked down the stairs and I noticed one prominent feature. He had a tattoo on his arm.

This tattoo seemed so out of place in the temple that it made me wonder if I belonged here. Here I was lusting after a guy in the temple. Did I deserve to be there? I walked out into the lobby and put down several names on the prayer roll. I left the temple, walked around the grounds for a few minutes, and then made it back to my car and headed home.

On the way home I again felt the same spirit that I had felt in the South Jordan temple. I did belong there and needed to keep helping others, and more often. I kept visiting at least 1 temple praying in earnest for the next couple of days when I got a message that changed things up a bit. But that is a story for tomorrow.


There are 15 Words of Warning for A New Year for a renewed life - Part 3