The Nightingale – Part 2

Posted by BB | Labels: , , | Posted On 19 January, 2010 at Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I, Beloved Boyd, am a Gay Mormon Boy and everything I say here is the truth to the best of my knowledge:


WARNING – This post contains content some may find inappropriate, but it helped to define who I am.


As I said yesterday, I started to get a little more adventurous with Hayden. I had a little more confidence in myself and it showed. Whenever we got together we usually ended up on someone’s bed watching something on the computer. We would watch a DVD, Queer as Folk, or in 1 or 2 times, we would look at Hayden’s “secret” folder named “XXX.”

This had been happening for about a month before I ended up in the hospital, but after I gained some confidence I started to change things. I had always been pushing for something more than just canoodling while watching a show. I wanted Hayden to be into me, I wanted him to love me as much as I loved him. So I tried to kiss him several times but was always rebuked. When I got back from the hospital my confidence striped me of my fear.

Instead of going in for the kiss, I would tease Hayden and make him horny. I would grind against him ever so slowly to get him hard. I wasn’t the timid Boca Raton retiree wading into the ocean anymore. I had become Johnny Lingo, fearlessly diving into the ocean. Now that I look back, I can see the dangers of the dive and the relative safety in wading in. But on one particular night I was oblivious to the dangers.

It was just like any other night Hayden and I hung out. We ended up in bed together spooning. Sometimes I was small spoon, but on this night I was big spoon. This night I was grinding up against him and I had my arms draped across his lower chest. Slowly I lowed them until I struck my goal. I began to beat him off.

To be honest, I was so smitten with Hayden that I was playing the Jezebel, the consummate gay whore. I never thought I would be that guy, but I was trying to seduce someone. I began to realize that truth right then, but my mind was able to instantly repress it – after all, I was pretty good at repression.

Hayden, being male, didn’t stop me. So, I continued. There I was, lying in bed with the guy I wanted to love me and what was I doing? Whoring myself out for his love and attention. This was the start of a thing between Hayden and I. I would start to beat him off and then when he got close he would excuse himself to the bathroom, finish up and then come back into bed. Leaving me untouched and unloved.

I felt like a leper. I couldn’t stand the lack of warmth, the lack of love I felt from Hayden and I was wounded. Eventually I became calloused to the wounds, but not before inflicting Hayden with some of my own.

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