Coming Out: Friends & Family Edition – My Friend Russell

Posted by BB | Labels: , , , | Posted On 15 January, 2010 at Friday, January 15, 2010

I, Beloved Boyd, am a Gay Mormon Boy and everything I say here is the truth to the best of my knowledge:

Russell Crowe is the most famous Russell I know. And the Rugby shot is for Alan over at scrumcentral.blogspot.comAfter I came out to Ethel I had one other member of my friends to tell. Nicholas, Hidalgo and Mohinder were all on there missions and so that left Russell. Russell was Mohinder’s roommate at BYU. He and I got along great and often had long talks about everything. When Mohinder was set apart, Russell, Mohinder’s best friend and I were the ones to do it.

After Mohinder left and I came out to Ethel I started testing the waters on Facebook. I left hypothetical status updates that would let me feel out some of my friend’s beliefs. This was one of them, again edited for grammar and spelling:

If you could only live one of the following lives, NOT both, which do you think would be a worthy life: 1, Focusing the majority of your energy towards correcting any sins that you commit, with most of your life focused on avoiding sin; or 2, Focusing a majority of your energy towards helping others, raising your family, and turning away from yourself even if it means that you are living in sin?

Russell was the heaviest commenter on this post and after talking with him over Facebook and through emails I knew that next time I saw him I had to tell him everything. So when I popped down to BYU to visit Ethel I stopped by Russell’s apartment we had a chat. We started talking like normal and then things began to get a little thick.
No this isn't me but it is how I imagined and replayed Russel's conversation with a gay mormon boy
We both began steering the conversation towards my post. Eventually we started discussing the two options and the false dichotomy they presented in my life. After talking in hypothetical for about 20 minutes I remember feeling the pressure building like the ebb before a tsunami. At one point I told Russell that we needed to cut to the chase.

This wasn’t a hypothetical and he knew that. This was my life and my choices ahead as a gay mormon boy. He took the news quite well and we discussed my options from a doctrinal standpoint for a while. As I got up to leave I asked him one final question. “Did you have any idea I was gay?” This is a question I ask most people because many of them had no idea. His response was by far the best.
“Boyd” he said, “I thought that you had knocked a girl up and were thinking of marrying her. To that, you being gay is almost a relief.”

Like you thought I would make it that easy? But because you read the photo alt text I'll give you a hint. This is a 30 yr reunion from an event in 1971
In the end, my family is still my family, my friends are still my friends and while I haven’t reached the end of the line yet, I think that we will end up with our arms around each other in a warm embrace, even after many years.

Much like GMB has done with his posts this week, I have a challenge. If you can guess who the people in this photo are then I will let you ask me any question about my past, present or future. Stay tuned for more in the journey of a gay mormon boy.


There are 5 Words of Warning for Coming Out: Friends & Family Edition – My Friend Russell