Coming Out: Friends & Family Edition – My Sister Serena

Posted by BB | Labels: , , , | Posted On 13 January, 2010 at Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I, Beloved Boyd, am a Gay Mormon Boy and everything I say here is the truth to the best of my knowledge:

Mrs. Cleaver, the ultimate image of misogyny. ALways doting on the beaver and always subservient to her husband.After talking to Neil, the only sibling I had left was my sister Serena. Serena and I were always hanging out together growing up and even after she got married. She is 5 years older than me and she was the peacemaker in our home. She would stand up to my brothers and protect me from their brotherly torments. She was undoubtedly the blue in our family, very emotionally involved. I looked to Cody for leadership, Neil for humor and calm and I looked to Serena for sensitivity and love.

When Serena got married, she changed. She took on her husband, Peter’s, highly conservative point of view. When I was younger I looked up to Peter and liked his views because of his intelligence. However as I prepared to come out to them I remembered one particular time that made me fear the upcoming call.

A watch similar to the one that identified the guy as gay. As a gay mormon boy I would hate that watch!
It was the first day of EFY and Serena and Peter were bringing me to sign-in. We were in line and the guy in front of us was dressed quite modern, especially for the early 2000’s. He was dressed more emo than anything else; skinny female jeans and a thick leather band/bracelet/watch. Peter turned to Serena and said one word in Russian, “goluboi “ which is slang for gay. They proceeded to mock this kid for looking gay let alone actually being gay.

Sadly this wasn’t the only time I have heard them discuss gays poorly. In fact I have never once heard them say anything besides degrading towards them. Needless to say there was a reason I saved this call for last of my family. I finally called and she answered, “Hi Boyd, how are you”
“Well” pause. “I’m in the hospital, in the psych ward”
“Why?” she asked
“That’s where they put you after you, after you, after, afteryoutrytotakeyourlife.”

This picture illustrates the pain and agony I was feeling as I wept after the phone call with my sister. Being a gay mormon boy can be sorrowful.I stumbled over the words and eventually told her everything. I told her that I was gay; that I had been struggling with my sexuality so much that it had been too much to bear. She was speechless. Finally she told me that I was her brother and so she still loved me. She then ended the conversation and I hung up. And I wept.

That was the beginning of a long and difficult time. What had been a strong relationship that had endured for many years turned into shreds because of a phone call. Serena and Peter had been my rock, my foundation. They nearly stopped all contact with me and it was utter desperation for months. Finally I have resolved my personal differences with Peter and Serena but it has taken a long time and a lot of hard work.


There are 4 Words of Warning for Coming Out: Friends & Family Edition – My Sister Serena