Coming Out: Friends & Family Edition – My Brother Neil

Posted by BB | Labels: , , | Posted On 12 January, 2010 at Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I, Beloved Boyd, am a Gay Mormon Boy and everything I say here is the truth to the best of my knowledge:

Neil is my older brother, he is about 7 years my senior and Cody and he have always had a little brotherly scuffle between them. Neil was a yellow on the color code, playful and easygoing. However when it came to me they seemed to keep each other well informed. So after I left BYU, my brothers both knew that I had been looking at gay porn. I tell you this because I want to highlight a story that I told my brother and what must have been going through his head thinking that I might be gay but not knowing.

For a time after BYU, I worked at a restaurant. As anyone who has worked in one knows, sexual harassment runs rampant through restaurants. Working at this restaurant introduced me to my first few “real” gays. I worked in close quarters with a lot of servers, including these gays. One of these gays was a guy we will call Bubbles.

Wenis, the extra skin on your elbow. Not synonymous with penis
Bubbles was a flaming queen who was pretty touchy-feely. On this one occasion I was walking into the kitchen and Bubbles grabbed my wenis and said loudly “WENISSSSSSSSS!.”

Now for any restaurant, this is pretty mild, however when I told Neil this story one night he was mortified. He was about ready to go into my work and beat the living daylights out of Bubbles for me. He wasn’t about to have his brother’s “junk” grabbed by some flaming guy at work.

My brother assumed that Wenis meant Penis and therein lay the miscommunication. I can only imagine the thoughts racing through his head as he thought that his possibly gay brother’s junk was touched.

Neil was next on my list to call and I knew that he always had a level head and thought about everything before he reacted. Neil’s wife is spectacular and she would also be a good support for Neil.

Lt. Dan Choi silenced by Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) at the National Equality March symbolically wearing Duct Tape Across his mouth in defiance of the US Government's position on homosexuality and the military
So knowing all this I gave Neil a call and got his answering machine. To this day we haven’t really sat down and had a discussion about my sexuality but he knows. He takes the stance more along the lines of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” when it comes to my sexuality. I don’t know where he stands with the issue as a whole, but he treats me exactly as he has in the past. Sure sometimes his humor goes a bit queer but that gives me license to rib him back. After all, turn about is fair play.

Neil and I remain close and things look like they will turn out for the best in the long run so that is something deeply positive to look at (especially after last week). This leaves only one more family member, my sister Serena. But she will have to wait until tomorrow.


There are 4 Words of Warning for Coming Out: Friends & Family Edition – My Brother Neil