Freshman Year Part 4 - The 500th Day of Summer

Posted by BB | Labels: , , | Posted On 31 December, 2009 at Thursday, December 31, 2009

I, Beloved Boyd, am a Gay Mormon Boy and everything I say here is the truth to the best of my knowledge:

While a lot happened my freshman year at BYU, the biggest change in my life took place on particular day near the end of the semester. It was a day that I am proud of and a day that beat me to a bloody pulp, but here I stand stronger for it. The day was Sunday and it began appropriately enough, with a sunrise.

That week I didn’t have any of my Elder’s Quorum duties and so I made a morning trip down to the 24hr Sugarhouse. I wore my church clothes so that I could go to church at a nearby ward. As I said earlier, I often had the pick of the gym and today was no exception. I spotted a hot guy and made him my target. Pretty quickly he and I were in the back handicapped shower going at it. After we were done, we toweled off and got dressed. He invited me to go back to his place but I told him I had a family brunch I had to go to. (It was a lie, I didn’t want to tell him I was going to go to church after just having an anonymous hookup). We parted ways and I went off to the nearby ward.

The worlds of this Gay Mormon Boy collided into a mass explosion much like this.
I had been to this ward a couple of times during my freshman year and this day was no different from the others. During the Sacrament I took out my pen and paper and began to write a letter to Nicholas. I wrote about how I wanted to go on a mission and was getting ready to do so. As I wrote those words having just come from the gym my two worlds collided together and the walls that divided them was torn down. In that instant I felt that everyone around me was feeling the spirit but I was feeling a cold chill. Right then I decided I needed to tell my bishop everything.

I gave him a call and told him that I needed to meet with him that night and that if I changed my mind or was silent to force me to tell him everything. I had an appointment for 7:30 and my gut started to retch in the agony that they knew was coming. I got back down to Provo and talked to him. I told him everything. I told him how I had been looking at Gay Porn at BYU. How I was cruising and roughly how many guys I had messed around and had sex with.

He was shocked. He felt that he had failed as a bishop because he should have seen it coming and he hadn’t suspected me of anything. He assured me that I wasn’t gay (like that had even crossed my mind at all). He told me that he had to think about everything and that I would discover my final judgment the next week. As it turned out I was able to finish out the semester because of my candor and my stepping up to talk to him. It was only about a week more, but it helped. I was then transferred to my Homeward Stake President and Bishop and had to find school elsewhere.

So that is how my Freshman year at BYU ended, not with a whimper, but with a bang of pride. I told my bishop everything and spent the next year recovering from my cruising. It was a year later that I caught a flight to Seattle. Stay tuned in and keep reading the journey of a gay mormon boy.

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