My Four Friends – Mohinder

Posted by BB | Labels: , , | Posted On 24 December, 2009 at Thursday, December 24, 2009

I, Beloved Boyd, am a Gay Mormon Boy and everything I say here is the truth to the best of my knowledge:

After I moved away from Hal, I had one year with Hidalgo and a year and a half with Nicholas before we split ways. Then I was on my own again. That is, until I met Mohinder.

Moving in on the first day of college, my mom helping me move in. I have to wonder if when I told her about Mohinder all the time if she thought she would end up with ambiguous Christmas card's from her gay mormon boy in South Beach?The first time I met Mohinder I was walking down the dorm hall at BYU. It was late at night, but I had just begun to move in. My mom and I hauled in my stuff and then I said goodbye and then I was left alone, alone in my room, alone in my hall and feeling utterly out of place and alone in life. But it was a fresh slate so rather than sit in my room I went out into the hall where music was playing and guys were introducing themselves and making friends.

I have never felt quite right in a large group of people but I took the plunge and dived in. I met a lot of people that night and one of them was Mohinder. I didn’t know it at the time, but Mohinder was one of the 2% at BYU. No, not the Gay 2% (that’s more like 10% anyway) but one of the 2% of non-Mormons at BYU.

You wouldn’t have known it from the way he participated in Church, or through anything he did or say. I only found out once he told me the missionaries were coming by to teach him. He and I spent a lot of time together. We helped each other study and there were times when I would lie in bed with him while I helped him learn a foreign language.

By this time the ice that separated me from recognizing my sexuality was razor thin. As you will find out more next week. I had deep feelings for Mohinder and while I vocalized them as friendship, they really were more than that. I cared about him and wanted to be with him and wanted him to be with me. That is, until he got baptized. After that happened I backed off. I don’t know what I was thinking that led me to do that, but I backed away from Mohinder in any sort of romantic way after his baptism.

After he got baptized, his father disowned him. I left BYU and was alone. He started seriously dating the girl that had help convert him. He began debating about a mission and by the time he was ready to go, I was clean enough to help set him apart.

Leaving him at the MTC was a hard thing for me to do, but I sent him on his way to his mission in Southeast Asia. He is still a dear friend and you will hear much more about him later.


I am Beloved Boyd and these are my few four friends. I have had other friends, but none as strong, as heartfelt and as true as these. They will play a part in my journey so stay tuned for next week as I discuss my first year at BYU.

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There are 2 Words of Warning for My Four Friends – Mohinder