Moleskine Part 5 - Instruments of Peace

Posted by BB | Labels: , | Posted On 11 December, 2009 at Friday, December 11, 2009

I, Beloved Boyd, am a Gay Mormon Boy and everything I say here is the truth to the best of my knowledge:

This will be the last series post from my moleskine, but every once in a while I will write more. This post from my moleskine was written after one of my most memorable experiences with the Spirit. You see, up until this point I had yet to have any sort of testimony of God or the Church. Right before I wrote this post I had the deepest sense of home and burning in the bosom. I had finally gained a testimony and wanted to shout it from the rooftops. Here is what I wrote just a few minutes later:

Today I realized that I want to share my faith in the Church with others. The little amount of faith that I wanted has been created and fortified just a few moments ago. I want, so bad, to share this feeling of knowing, of my assured knowledge in the church with others. I want to serve a mission. I don’t care how hard it might be or how long it might take, but I want to dedicate a portion of my life to the Lord. Not because it is expected of me, or because I need to “fit in” (I could care less of their opinion). I want to share what I just felt I have gained with others. I know that I have a lot of work between here and then but I am ready and willing to stop “suppressing” myself and instead submit myself to the touch of the Master’s hand.

Lord Make me and Instrument of thy Peace, the words of Francis Assisi have motivated much of my life since Freshman year when I first heard those words in choir.
“Lord, make me an instrument of my peace.”
Those words of Francis Assisi have never meant much to me until now, and now they are precisely how I feel. I desperately desire to serve, to teach, to sing and yell from the mountaintops the knowledge that I have so that others can rejoice as I do. There have been only a few things I have wanted to do with my life, and none with such vigor as this. To share the love that I have felt from Christ with others would be a life worth living! I don’t care if it is in 1,2, 5, 10, or 40 years, I will strive to serve a full time mission while dedicating my life to the Lord.

That was how I felt a year ago. Things have changed over the year, but some have remained the same. Stay tuned in and keep reading the journey of a gay mormon boy.
-Beloved Boyd

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