Moleskine Part 4 – Lifestyle Design

Posted by BB | Labels: , | Posted On 10 December, 2009 at Thursday, December 10, 2009

I, Beloved Boyd, am a Gay Mormon Boy and everything I say here is the truth to the best of my knowledge:

Tim Ferriss turning the world on end with his book 'Four Hour Work Week' It is a great read. H/T fourhourworkweek.com/blog
Around this time I had finished reading “The Four Hour Work Week” by Tim Ferriss. In this book he talks about challenging your preconceived notions of what the worst that could happen. If you quit your job, what is the worst that can happen? Write it out and see how you could still survive and even live without all the added stress that your situation causes you. So I followed his advice and created what he called, “lifestyle designs.” Here they are for Options 3 and 4:

Option 3 Lifestyle Design:
This is how I would feel at Church if I went with option 3, Silenced with Duct Tape for my questioning sexuality
I propose to stay in the Church, however I can not re-adopt the same lifeplan of going on a mission, getting married and having kids because I recognize that conforming to the mold in silence would cause me to erupt and destroy a family. I will not do that. The principle of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” can’t apply to a life in the Church. I would be adding the additional sin of hiding my sins, like Adam and Eve tried to hide their nakedness. I will let people know of my SSA when they comment on things like, “why aren’t you married?” but only after they press.
I would live a life of celibacy and solitude to the best of my ability but that should I slip up there is forgiveness if I repent and continue on my Sojourn of Solitude. I would use my time to focus on increasing earthly and eternal knowledge in an attempt to fill the void of loneliness. In return for this choice I have a shot at exaltation. My fear is that being gay isn’t biological only and that it is a part of my soul, or perhaps a part of my spirit. Then what happens at Judgment? I also fear that I will be SSA in the next life and still not be the way I need to be and so I will continue to be unhappy.

The Gay Kiss from the movie 'Kiss the Bride' a wonderful movie that hits close to home for me, particularly one scene with all the past boyfriends that remind him of his best friend and first gay kiss.Option 4 Lifestyle Design:
I propose to follow the teachings of the church, its moral code, its principles, which are a core characteristic. I will find a partner. I will follow the Church except that my companion will be another man. I wasn’t meant to be alone. I need a “helpmeet” and a woman just can’t be that for me. I would follow every teaching of the gospel and should the church ever allow it, I would marry my partner. This would show my devotion to the Church as far as my creator made me. My fear with this plan is that at Judgment I would see how my life could have been had I chosen option 3 and I will see that I had the strength to accomplish it. That would be my own personal hell.

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