A Month of "Firsts" - The First Date

Posted by BB | Labels: , , | Posted On 27 November, 2009 at Friday, November 27, 2009

I, Beloved Boyd, am a Gay Mormon Boy and everything I say here is the truth to the best of my knowledge:

After coming out to Hayden I had a solid month of first experiences. A world was opened up to me and I looked at it from a view I had never before seen. I felt like Alice, who had fallen through the rabbit hole or peered into the looking glass only to discover that the world I was living in was rather queer.

The first if these was my first date. I had been on dates with girls before, but this was the first real date. You see before I was officially moved to the friend zone, before I was told about Neil and Hayden's deep feelings for him, I had the opportunity to go out on a date with Hayden. We had hung out with others before, grabbing dinner and a show, but each time I tried to go on a date with him it felt like I was being blocked by a third wheel. I should have noticed that I was being pushed into the friend zone but I was, by winged cupid's arrow, struck blind.

When I finally got Hayden to agree to go out with me on an official date, I was so excited. I spent hours trying to pick out clothes and probably ended up looking like some random preppy from high school. I tried to pick a good restaurant and ended up going to California Pizza Kitchen even though here were great places around us. I picked CPK because I knew that Hayden’s favorite food was pizza, plain old cheese pizza.

We sat down and had a good dinner and talked and then went and watched “Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist.” A cheesy date movie to be sure, but a lovely one at that. I sat there, hand nervously wanting for him to reach out and take my hand. I wanted so bed to hold his hand.

Two guys holding hands on their first date
Then during a critical part of the movie, one of the characters says that the big picture is “The Beatles had it all figured out, I want to hold your hand! It isn’t about sex or pain. That’s what everybody wants, not a 24-hour hump session, to be married to you for 100 years, they just want to hold your hand” Then I realized that because this was a gay date I could reach out for his hand, I didn’t have to wait for him, and so I reached out and held his hand. And then in the dark theatre our fingers entwined and I forgot all about the outside world. It was wonderful and it was bliss.

When we got back to the apartment I was flying high, Hayden wasn't. He sat me down and told me that we could be friends but that was it. His heart belonged to Neil and there wasn't anything I could do about it. But God knows I kept trying.

End of Part 1

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