Coming Out - The Long and Winding Road

Posted by BB | Labels: , , | Posted On 21 November, 2009 at Saturday, November 21, 2009

I, Beloved Boyd, am a Gay Mormon Boy and everything I say here is the truth to the best of my knowledge:


After spending a year in rehab and getting and staying clean and controlling my physical urges, I had the opportunity to travel to Seattle for an internship. This would help me on my career and my school had the perfect program for it with a set of apartments all ready for us. I must admit that one of the reasons I looked forward to this internship was my ability to get out of my parents house and on my own in a city with lots of clubs, little pressure to go to church and room to see what would happen and if I could maintain control over my physical desires. It was sort of like getting out on the road after getting my drivers license, sure I could do it, but would I get into a wreck?
Armani Exchange T-shirt worn by a wet male model
At this point I had had a couple of experiences where I wondered if I might be gay, and once where I almost accepted that fact before quickly repressing it, but still I was in the closet. I was hiding from the world, from my family and from myself still at this time even though I was no virgin to the gay world.

I flew into Seattle and spent a few days with a friend from school. She and I talked and I felt a disconnect growing, and yet an intense spiritual connection to the spirit those few days. About a week later I moved into my apartment and was the first one of my apartment, but not the whole program to move in. I hadn't met any of my roommates or anyone else on the program yet because I missed orientation. I knew that I had to make friends here and so an idea hit me and I made some peanut butter bars (my specialty) and delivered them to each room.

Just after I left the first room, I overheard someone ask his roommate if I was a fairy because of the treats and I was kind of appalled that such a thing would be thought of me just because I could bake. At another room I met some great girls and was hanging out there until some other people came down to gather people to go clubbing and bar hopping. I opted out of that one and was proud of my triumph over physical temptation. We were talking for a while and then one guy I hadn't really noticed spoke kind of loudly and said "I can't believe the mall doesn't have an Armani Exchange" with a slightly exaggerated lisp. when I heard his voice and I looked up and my heart nearly stopped. That was the night that I met Hayden.

End of Part 1

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